The Runaway (hopefully) Bride
To the bride: Run… run for your life!! Your groom may be heart-broken, but according to researchers, you are better off single. Should there be conflict in your marriage, and trust me, there will be, it is YOU, not your groom, who will suffer. You, my dear, are about to walk down the aisle to a place of high stress, which will set you on a path for cardiovascular, endocrine, immune, neuro-sensory problems and physiological issues. He may be a little depressed, but this marriage may kill you! Now turn around and RUN!!
Researchers from Ohio State University and the University of Louisville compiled data from dozens of published articles about marital interactions. Not surprising, they found that marital functioning is directly linked to the well-being of both spouses. What is surprising is the degree to which it affects women’s health.
Causing depression in both spouses, discord in the marital relationship leads only women to an increased risk of metabolic syndrome (hypertension, obesity, high blood sugar, and other dangerous symptoms). When the researchers questioned this gender disparity, they found marital functioning had a stronger impact on women than men. Simply, women tend to be more responsive and sensitive to relationship problems. As a wife who after a fight with my husband lies wide-eyed awake at night pondering the issues, I can attest to my own thin-skin. In addition, as my husband snores beside me, seemingly enjoying a peaceful night’s rest, I can conclude that women are indeed more sensitive to relational problems. It is these exact sensitivities that could lead to emotional distress, high blood pressure, and heart disease.
Despite the fact that married people, on average, enjoy better mental and physical health than the unmarried, there is still room for concern. Married or not, heart disease is the number-one killer of women (as well as men) and scientists are still learning much about how relationship factors and emotional distress are related to heart disease. Future evidence may show that women should, for example, modify their diet and exercise programs to affect metabolic syndromes. Like Ben Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
At 41, I married late by societal standards. At ages 35 and 40, I had physical examinations that gave me baseline reading for any health issues. Knowing this information, I pay special attention to my mental processes so as not to suffer unnecessary stresses. And so should you, my dear bride. If you insist on taking the walk, take care of yourself--head, heart, and soul.
Sources: Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K., & Newton, T.L. (2001). Marriage and Health: His and Hers. Psychological Bulletin, 127-4, 472-503.
Pasch, L. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (1998). Social support, conflict, and the development of marital dysfunction. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 66, 219-230.
Phillipson, C. (1997). Social relationships in later life: A review of the research literature. International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 12, 505-512.
Author: Gretchen Leigus Berge, St. Joseph's College
